Joke me daddy

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father-in-law

What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.

It is inappropriate to make dad jokes when you’re not a dad.

It’s a faux pa

Why do nurses walk around with red crayons?

Just in case they need to draw blood

I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

Last night I dreamt that I wrote the Lord of the rings…

I guess I was sleep Tolkein

What do you call a mouse that swears? 

A cursor.

What is the most oblivious country in the world? 

Saudi Arabia, because they live under Iraq.

Why don’t foot fetishists win races? 

They love the smell of defeat.